Generally, feelings don’t want managing; they want acknowledgment. That’s the place the 3Hs are available in. From a psychological standpoint, when persons are overwhelmed, they search one in all three issues: to be helped, heard, or hugged.
We reached out to Delnna Rrajesh, psychologist, and relationship life coach, who mentioned that the best way we search aid differs once we all expertise ache, frustration, and heartbreak. “On the core of our emotional well-being is the necessity to really feel secure, seen, and supported,” mentioned Rrajesh.
As such, misunderstanding these wants can result in emotional disconnect, frustration, and unintentional hurt. “However once we reply appropriately, we foster deeper therapeutic, belief, and transformation,” mentioned Rrajesh.
Understanding this may be the distinction between deepening belief or creating emotional distance.
1. Assist – When somebody wants options
There are occasions once we really feel misplaced and search path. We don’t simply need to be heard; we would like a roadmap.
Some folks don’t simply need to vent—they want steering.
They ask:
“What ought to I do?”
“How do I transfer ahead?”
They want readability, path, and instruments to take motion. One of the best ways to help them is to supply options, empowerment, and actionable steps, mentioned Rrajesh.
Instance: An individual in a poisonous relationship won’t simply want sympathy—they might want methods to rebuild self-worth and exit safely.
2. Heard – When somebody wants to precise with out judgment or interruption
Not each battle requires fixing. Some folks need to really feel seen and validated.
They are saying:
“I simply want to speak.”
“I don’t need recommendation—simply hear.”
Listening is without doubt one of the strongest therapeutic instruments we have now. “But, in our eagerness to assist, we frequently soar to giving recommendation, invalidating the particular person’s feelings within the course of,” mentioned Rrajesh.
The perfect response? Maintain house. Resist the urge to unravel. Pay attention deeply.
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Instance: A grieving buddy doesn’t want a lecture on resilience. He wants somebody who merely listens, acknowledges, and says, “I hear you.”
Assist may help (Picture: Freepik)
Hugged – When somebody wants consolation
Generally, logic and phrases fall quick. What somebody wants is – emotional security, heat, and reassurance. Bodily contact (when welcomed) may be therapeutic.
They could say:
“I don’t want phrases, simply be right here.”
“Are you able to maintain me?”
Instance: A scared youngster doesn’t want the reason why monsters don’t exist—they want a comforting hug to really feel secure., shared Rrajesh.
In line with Rrajesh, miscommunication occurs once we provide assist when somebody desires to be heard, or we hear after they want motion.
Subsequently, the knowledgeable asserted that the 3Hs methodology is straightforward however highly effective: ask your self—do they should be helped, heard, or hugged?
