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March has lengthy had a Joan Jett-like “dangerous repute,” initially due to the assassination of Julius Caesar. That’s the place many individuals get one of many few Latin phrases they know: “Et tu, Brute?” or roughly, “You too, Brutus?” This yr, we additionally witnessed princesses with related dangerous reps. The media profession of wannabe Princess Meghan Markle took one other hit together with her lame Netflix dwelling present. And Disney princess Rachel Zegler starred within the much-panned “Snow White” remake.
Dwelling as much as or all the way down to that dangerous repute provides us the primary entry in our month of loopy:
1. Freeway to Hell: The street to hell is actually paved with good intentions. When liberals hear the phrase Amazon, they assume it’s an enormous, vital entity they need to destroy. No, I’m not speaking in regards to the Jeff Bezos-owned retailer. I’m speaking in regards to the South American jungle, close to the positioning of the most recent bogus local weather change assembly.
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To fulfill the estimated 50,000 attendees at this yr’s local weather summit, Brazil carved an eight-mile freeway by way of the jungle so they might drive to their vacation spot, most likely in gas-guzzling SUVs. They’ve referred to as the jungle-wrecking street the Avenida Liberdade or Avenue of Liberty. Extra proof that local weather do-gooders choose you do good and so they do effectively.
2. Select your fighter: Online game followers have performed numerous variations of one-on-one fighter video games, like “Avenue Fighter” and “Mortal Kombat.” In a bid to enhance their social media sport, seven Democrat congresswomen have been included in a quick video montage entitled, “Select Your Fighter.” The video featured distinguished Dems showing on display with fists a-flyin’. The textual content beneath every “character” is actually memorable – like “hates balloons” and “Not into hair dye.” Among the many self-owners have been New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (“Trekkie”) and Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett (“Not a morning individual”).
ABC Information credited “a meals and wellness influencer who attended the Home Democrats’ creators occasion” for creating the worst video of 2025 – thus far. The end result was so embarrassing that even CNN anchor Abby Phillip mentioned it, “appears to be simply inviting ridicule.” For those who’ve misplaced CNN, who do you’ve gotten left?
3. Cheeto of energy: The world’s marketing campaign to separate silly individuals from money doesn’t all the time contain Vegas or March Insanity betting. Typically, it’s the acquisition of one thing easy like a Cheeto. In keeping with the Related Press, “A Cheeto formed just like the beloved Pokémon Charizard has offered at public sale for a complete price of $87,840.” The “3-inch lengthy Flamin’ Scorching Cheeto” had 60 public sale bids. It’s not like possession of the Cheeto imparts Charizard’s hearth assault and even its flying potential. It’s only a stale Cheeto that price as a lot as a home downpayment in a lot of the U.S. Robust to swallow.
4. Turtle time: Say turtles and I, and lots of People, begin eager about Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. We aren’t usually eager about a psychological well being advisory board aiding the director of Oregon’s Well being Authority. Sadly, that is 2025 and JD Holt is likely one of the “customers” on the panel. Holt has passed by “JD Terrapin” on Fb, and apparently that’s not based mostly on College of Maryland fandom. Holt declared throughout a Dec. 20 digital assembly, “I take advantage of they, them and turtle for my pronouns.”
Gender Wiki, the Wikipedia of made-up genders, contains references to “turtlegender” and even “tortoisegender” as having a particular gender tie to turtles. Which I wager you have been dying to know. That is Oregon, one of many lesser-known stops alongside the Yellow Brick Highway. Throughout a Dec. 17 assembly, one other member claimed to be, “Luke A Capturing Star.” Your tax {dollars} at work.
5. And talking of turtles: For those who fly anyplace (not together with your Charizard), you’ve been by way of the TSA search. Perhaps this story will make us all a bit extra sympathetic to the TSA workers. A Pennsylvania man tried to smuggle a stay, five-inch turtle by way of airport safety by hiding it in his pants. Now, the one turtles I’m aware of are Snapping Turtles and also you positively mustn’t put them in your pants.
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Right here’s the place you would possibly discover only a tiny little bit of sympathy for the TSA. In keeping with AP, “The turtle was confiscated, and it’s not clear if the turtle was the person’s pet or why he had it in his pants.” Thomas Carter, TSA’s federal safety director for New Jersey had to answer this on the file. Not terrorism, simply turtles. “As greatest as we might inform, the turtle was not harmed by the person’s actions.” If Elon Musk brings DOGE to New Jersey, Carter should declare turtle discuss as certainly one of his week’s achievements.
6. Journalist combat membership: My quest to maintain tabs on far-left “journalists” leads me to Washington Put up columnist and former World Opinions editor Karen Attiah. She’s ever energetic on the socials, blaming racism for many something and even invoking astrology to point the autumn of the U.S. empire. However she responded to a satirical put up about “College Combat Night time,” with the memorable line, “I might LOVE to do a media/journalism/author combat evening!”
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In her personal “lol” put up on the topic, she added, “Perhaps as an alternative of the White Home Correspondent’s [sic] Dinner, we should always simply brawl for charity / assist mutual support.” Now, that’s leisure. Consider it, lefty CNN media defender Brian Stelter in opposition to rabid former sportscaster-turned TV host, turned no matter Keith Olbermann is now. Inform me you wouldn’t watch pay-per-view or wager on it for those who might. (Sadly, my state refuses to permit us to wager on sports activities on-line.) Within the phrases of our hero, Westley from “The Princess Bride,” they need to battle, “to the ache!”
Thanks, March, six examples of dangerous reps and so many individuals serving to make all of it occur. Within the phrases of Jett’s banger of a tune, “Unhealthy Popularity,” “An’ I am by no means gonna care ’bout my dangerous repute.” Perhaps it’s time some individuals within the media ought to begin caring. Till they do, at the very least they’ll amuse us.
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