The 6 craziest tales of January. Salute!

It’s exhausting to consider that 2025 is already 1/12 full. We survived the transition from an incoherent placeholder presidency to the brand new America and a brand new president. We endured the worldwide cooling, oops, warming, that introduced snow to Florida and Texas and 11-degree mornings to north Georgia. 

January didn’t cease there. It featured the terrifying nightmare of a Dunkin’ Donuts scarcity and the media freakout over the renaming of the Gulf of Mexico into the Gulf of America. Alongside the way in which, the world stored getting crazier. Like at all times, the press led the way in which. Listed here are among the craziest tales from the month passed by:

New media be careful

Lefty Washington Put up columnist Jennifer Rubin introduced she is becoming a member of the mass exodus from the paper and beginning a brand new enterprise known as The Contrarian. (She hasn’t been opposite to the key media in years.) She posted a brief (Thank, God!) video with associate Norm Eisen, a CNN authorized analyst. The video was extensively panned as “cringe” and depicted the pair claiming their new outlet can be “an thrilling new on-line platform.” That was stated with all the fervour you get watching milk curdle.

Lefty Washington Put up columnist Jennifer Rubin introduced she is becoming a member of the mass exodus from the paper. (Screenshot/MSNBC)

Eisen added, “[B]ut we all know that any profitable, pro-democracy motion additionally needs to be very vocal about tradition.” He promised a cooking column, “however we’re gonna sprinkle in just a little little bit of pro-democracy taste.” NeverTrump cooking classes. Yum! 

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It was like watching a mix of an old-school “Saturday Night time Stay” skit overlaid with the berserk, fake sincerity of NPR. In the event you had been making a video to make enjoyable of them, it wouldn’t have been this hilarious. 

Don’t quote me

The White Home exes – each President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris – reminded voters of what enjoyable we missed with 4 extra years of both candidate. Biden, who delivered phrase mush for a few years earlier than the press was pressured to confess it, couldn’t deal with the tough problem of singing… “Completely satisfied Birthday.”

Former President Joe Biden and former Vice President Kamala Harris listo to President Donald Trump ship his inaugural deal with on the Capitol, Jan. 20, 2025. (Kenny Holston/The New York Occasions through AP, Pool)

The previous prez who, at 82, has presumably heard the tune a couple of instances, nonetheless flubbed it. Apparently, he couldn’t keep in mind the identify of the younger visitor named Alicio. When it got here time to muster the identify, Biden simply drifted off into Mumble Metropolis. The one factor the video lacked was Alicio going all Walter White and telling Biden, “Say my identify.”

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To not be outdone, Harris couldn’t even muster the “Pledge of Allegiance.” She’s sufficiently old at 60 to have attended faculty when academics nonetheless taught it, earlier than the left wrecked American training. Didn’t matter. Though she urged the Senate to “be part of me in pledging allegiance to our flag,” she forgot the flag as quickly as she began. “To the flag” are phrases 4 via six of the pledge, besides when leftists say it. 

Let’s simply name that flagging patriotism.

Dunkin’ retailers expertise a doughnut scarcity. (Jeffrey Greenberg/Common Photos Group through Getty Photos)

Operating out of dough

Dunkin’ (Previously Dunkin’ Donuts), one in all America’s premier sugar-delivery operations, ran out of… doughnuts (The proper spelling, for the advertising and marketing of us at Dunkin’.) Outages had been reported in New Mexico and Nebraska. Company stated simply 4% of the shops ran out, besides Dunkin’ has 9,500 shops. So, almost 400 shops had no doughnuts and no donuts.

Talking for the doughnut-eating (and Dunkin’-loving) residents of the world. Do higher. Don’t make us discover one other location to spend our dough – or purchase it.

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It’s springtime for…

Longtime readers know my favourite film is the unique “Producers.” It’s an unimaginable comedy that makes enjoyable of Nazis. And now, because of entrepreneur Elon Musk and the laughably leftist media, the film is present occasions.

Musk, along with his attribute, socially awkward introversion, gave his coronary heart to the group at a Trump gathering, thrusting his hand into the air. The media swarmed, creating the primary viral, phony controversy of the Trump Two period. Even the far left Anti-Defamation League, which bashes Nazis for a residing, stated it wasn’t a Nazi salute. Didn’t matter. An unlimited variety of so-called information retailers pretended it was. 

Surprise what number of of these making this phony declare are nonetheless driving their Teslas. 

Legally blind

Justice is blind, they are saying. It’s additionally fairly silly. Reese Witherspoon, star of the epic authorized comedy “Legally Blonde” and its pathetic sequel, ended up on jury responsibility. Kudos to her for refusing to dodge her civic responsibility. However she wasn’t the issue.

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Witherspoon revealed on the “Graham Norton Present” that the opposite jurors “unanimously” selected her as foreman. Why? As a result of they thought she had gone to regulation faculty, due to a film. OK, admittedly it was Beverly Hills, so mind usually not required. Besides they make the flicks close by. One would possibly assume they’d know what actors do.

Witherspoon revealed on the “Graham Norton Present” that she was chosen as a jury foreman due to her “Legally Blonde” background. (Getty Photos)

When the manure hits the fan

Say the phrase Peta and other people worldwide consider the most-annoying group of Karens conceivable, the type who work for Folks for the Moral Therapy of Animals. What higher option to finish than to say the group is stuffed with… manure.

A pair of Peta poo promoters tried to dump a truckload of manure on the headquarters of their opponents – the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, or ASPCA. Solely the manure managers at Peta had their heads of their… truck thus far that they forgot manure freezes. They usually tried the dumping throughout the peak chilly entrance in Manhattan.

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The consequence confirmed a pissed off Peta individual digging the manure out of the truck mattress like he had been forged in some disturbing remake of “Frozen.” New York’s best locked him and his associate up, whereas a lot of the manure stayed lodged within the truck. 

I assume it’s true, a thoughts is a horrible factor to waste.

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